Ho Ho Ho

Mike, the old guy who does maintenance where I work has had an illustrious life. At least that’s what I think. For someone 72 years old, and who’s lived through a World War, the advent of the jetliner, Elvis to Nirvana, a few Labour and National governments, rock and roll to hip hop, changing landscapes, a marriage and a few deaths, two cars and a boat, from coastguard to owning a dairy, the introduction of the computer age, and more recently the Asian invasion of Auckland, he’s a guy who’s seen the most tremulous part of the frail part of life we call human history.

And he’s lonely for Christmas eve.

So being in the same boat as he was, I proffered a dinner. He was doing night duty at Quest on Mount, and had a room with an oven, microwave…the works. Turned out I didn’t have to do anything at all. He offered half a dozen beers and a microwave dinner. Might as well, I thought.

So there I was sitting with an empty stomach filled with two Stella Artois, half-charmed and relaxed as he told me everything from how the current manager was being a dick to how his wife left him. Which was sad, really.
10 grandfather stories later, I found out I couldn’t really concentrate. My mind was wandering too far. I excused myself and stood at the balcony on his 13th floor apartment, taking in the breathtaking view of Auckland and the harbour beyond. I hadn’t lit my cigarette but I smelt smoke anyway. It struck me that I was in apartment 13C, right next to 13B. That particular one holds some significance. It’s the one where Jason (the desperado engineering student from Hong Kong who does maintenance as well) lost his ability of speech when Penny walked out of the shower with just a towel around her.

Penny and her mom have been living in apartment 13B for more than a month now. Her mom’s the girlfriend of a guy who’s here on business, though he doesn’t look it. Quite frankly, her mom’s an older version of she is, which says a lot seeing she’s as hot as a coal in hell. They left the cold winter of England to steam up New Zealand with their presence. Every time she walks by the little cubicle they call the reception area, she smiles. Just that split second is enough to make me return the smile for an hour more. Of course, I’d be smiling to myself but it’s a good thing she doesn’t know it.

Anyway Penny was out on her balcony.

“Hey Penny, er, merry Christmas.”

“Hey,” she started up.

“Erm, you, er, no plans for tomorrow, no, tonight?”

“Nah, it’s just me and my mom tonight. Thought of some pub maybe.”

“I thought you had a date today?”

“Huh?”

“That guy you were walking out with today. I, er, saw you with a guy. A guy…er…some guy?”

“What guy?”

“I could swear there was a guy…”

At this point I felt my face burn and I’m certain it wasn’t because of the beer or the sunburn I got from surfing at Raglan two days before. Oh shit, she knows I notice her every move like some perv.

“Hahaha, no, just me and my mom tonight.”

“Auckland must be full of guys huh…I mean, anyone you wanted to go out with.”

“Hahaha yeah I guess. What are your plans for tonight?”

“Nothing…just me and Mike. Two lonely guys…” (At this point I realized how sad I sounded.)

“Well, I’ll holler from here if you wanna come along.” (Cue mindblowing smile.)

In my head was a Hanson concert at full blast with people swaying to the chorus of "Penny and Me".

And I watched her disappear back into the room, those mini denim shorts capping a blur of perfect long legs.
And so I resigned myself to a long night ahead with Mike for company. But a Nutcracker musical and some Brittany Murphy movie later, I had had enough. I took my leave and left. Poor Mike. This was supposed to be his night, not mine.

Right now I’m back home. Home alone for Christmas Eve. Julien’s friends from France flew over today; they’re going on a round trip around New Zealand. The only saving grace was the pastis (anise liqueur, but tasted like anus liquor ) that went through the customs. Now I’m tipsy, lonely, and going to bed.

Shit I’m hungry. What I wouldn’t give for a good hot meal with good company my age.

So long, farewell, auf weidersehn, goodnight.

I wonder where Penny is tonight.